I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I grow to be obsessive about studying every part I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s model system, shade evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Smooth Traditional in Kibbe’s model system.
These techniques and labels might be useful as a result of they validate and make sure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us identify complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these techniques and character exams begins as excited curiosity after which shortly slips into an all-consuming have to get every part ‘proper.’ It’s simple for an curiosity to grow to be an obsession (and because of Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these techniques truly useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘finest’ or ‘proper’ choice?
In the present day I’m sharing what I’ve discovered from these techniques, how we discover which means via them, and why I actually suppose we wish to label ourselves.
The rise of packing containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about totally different techniques and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, it’s possible you’ll fall into a few of your personal rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s style system relies on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the standard fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so on.) however relatively how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or quick you appear.
The concept is to decorate in a approach that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve all the time struggled to make clothes tendencies work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique kind may offer you some clues.
You may attempt to determine which kind you might be utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself may give an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, individuals really feel they don’t have any alternative however to find out their very own kind, and there are subreddits to assist individuals determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable if you’re getting began, however it could shortly grow to be irritating if you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught attempting to observe the rules.
Coloration Evaluation
Color analysis (aka discovering your “finest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full drive. Are you a winter, summer season, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, brilliant or muted, gentle or deep?
They are saying realizing your colours will assist you to look harmonious in your garments, and also you received’t need to put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the give you the results you want (the truth that that is primarily focused at girls bettering their appears to be like is a subject for one more time).
The issue is that some individuals fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital shade analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in several seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me try this now that I find out about shade evaluation. The perfectionist in me desires an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others via the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo at present than it was previously.
Astrology may give you a greater understanding of who you might be and assist you to interpret your present section of life. It’s possible you’ll know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was if you had been born and the way that will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at the moment is and the way that will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology might be useful if you know the way to make use of it, utilizing it within the fallacious approach can create detrimental stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology referred to as Human Design which might help you perceive the right way to reside your day by day life with ease.
Relying in your kind, you’ll be able to decide whether or not the most effective use of your vitality is to be an initiator of recent concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues achieved (Turbines), to observe your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you be taught (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept our fashionable world tells everybody they have to be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals should not designed to make use of their vitality that approach (maybe that is one motive why burnout and power fatigue are so prevalent at present).
Why we put ourselves in packing containers
Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these techniques have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both approach, we people wish to put individuals into packing containers even once we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY searching for to know about myself via these techniques?
For me, the enchantment is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique kind within the Kibbe system and my shade season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t go well with me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who desires a algorithm to observe as a result of I believe that may make my life simpler.
However is searching for an outdoor system as an inside guidebook the way in which to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Systems vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that would one way or the other reside life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t need to face the messiness and discomfort of really displaying up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I need these techniques to offer me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.
Perhaps if I observe the foundations and tips completely, I received’t need to cope with any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that approach.
Changing into too reliant on an outdoor algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or excellent.
The search for self-understanding shouldn’t grow to be a pursuit of perfection.
Are these techniques pointless?
So, if we are able to’t depend on these packing containers and techniques to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re fully pointless?
I don’t suppose so. In any case, they might help us make sense of the world and discover which means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to need a sense of which means in life since nobody desires to waste their time and vitality. However trying to find the proper system and attempting to observe it to a T may finish in wasted time and vitality anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us once we’re not pushing, not searching for answers, and never attempting to make issues excellent. All you need to do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both approach.
In the long run, attempting to depend on any system aside from your personal inner knowing will lead you additional away from what you need and want.
Let your self comprise multitudes
Figuring out your character traits or discovering your excellent colours isn’t essentially going to vary your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing fallacious with utilizing these sorts of techniques and labels; you simply need to strategy them from a spot of curiosity relatively than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it might be time to let go.
If you happen to actually need to really feel assured in your self, settle for which you could be a number of issues directly. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your personal tips for all times as an alternative.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I would like to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
